


Breaking Ground

by Neeklos



Series: Reylo Journey Series [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben just wants to help, Character Study, F/M, Finn Is Struggling, Reylo - Freeform, Seduction to the Dark Side
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:01:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24297046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neeklos/pseuds/Neeklos
Summary: Post TROS. Rey begins training Finn to be a Jedi but his resentment over Ben Solo’s survival prevents him from going very far. With Rey at a loss of how to help her friend, Ben might just understand what could help the former Stormtrooper.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Reylo Journey Series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754077
Comments: 15
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a continuation of my previous fic "A Night at the Solo Household", now a part of what I'm calling the "Reylo Journey Series". I currently have three of these mini-stories planned at the moment, so follow me on tumblr (Neeklos) if you would like to see previews as these stories progress. This particular concept will be two chapters.

Silence tarnished the once exciting atmosphere of the empty room located deep within the resistance base. The scavenger had long since claimed the space to be used for training, and more things had been destroyed in that room then Rey could count as she put new skills to the test with Leia's old saber. Today, however, Rey's mind swayed from thought to thought as she sat cross legged on the cold floor.

Boredom had set in long before the sweat began to pool into little droplets at Finn's forehead as he sat a few feet opposite of her. With a casual glance to the clock, Rey wanted to groan as the time seemed to taunt her. For nearly an hour she sat listening to Finn's grunts as he struggled with an outstretched arm; failing to summon even the simplest uses of the force. It was there, the will of the force, swirling through lively veins as Rey could feel it practically begging to be released. So, why was he trying so hard and succeeding at nothing?

Rey gave him ample time to practice while her thoughts drifted from the rumble in her stomach, to those as childish as trying to guess which creature was making noises at the other side of the room. With a shake of her head, she forced herself to stay focused the task at hand.

"Finn, you're trying to lift a stick, not struggle to use the restroom," Rey chastised playfully.

"Bathroom jokes, really?" he groaned.

"You're trying too hard. You have to feel it in your heart," she tried to explain.

"Feel what?" Finn grunted one last time before allowing his hand to rest at his side. "I don't feel anything."

"It's there, I can tell it's there. It's like…" Rey stopped herself. _You're blocking yourself,_ she wished to say but quickly decided against it. Knowing that the claim would only stress him further. Instead, she cleared her throat nervously. "Some _thing,_ is blocking your connection."

"I _had_ felt it before. For so long I was certain of it, but now… It's like ever since the war I've been shut out," Finn sighed. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this force stuff."

"It's not your fault, Finn," Rey explained, "I told you before, I'm no Master. How can I teach you anything when I haven't even finished my own training?"

"Don't blame yourself," he groaned in dismay. For a moment, Finn played anxiously with his fingers before changing the subject. "Have you finished your lightsaber yet?"

Rey smiled weakly with a shake of the head.

"No. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong, Leia… well, we hadn't gotten that far before everything happened."

"Looks like we could both use Leia's help right now," Finn chuckled weakly.

" _All_ of us could use Leia's help. If she were here maybe the Senators would agree on something for once," she shook her head in exasperation. "It's like listening to younglings bicker."

"No kidding. I don't understand why Poe wants to get into politics," Finn rolled his eyes.

"I think he wants to make sure Leia's voice will not be forgotten," she reminded. "It's actually comforting to see him elected."

"He's not elected yet," the man reminded.

"They hail him as a hero for leading the charge on Exegol, there is no chance that they won't vote him in."

"You don't know much about politics, do you?" Finn scoffed.

Rey merely smirked in reply.

"I suppose not. Now come on, enough distractions."

Rey adjusted her posture to sit proper, guiding him to do the same. Finn released another sigh, as if having already decided that he would fail. Just as he had before, his arm lifted with outstretched fingers towards the small stick on the ground. Rey waited as the muscles in his arms began to strain from effort. And waited.

"If you have to try that hard, the force will never help you."

Finn's body tensed all over as the new voice emerged. His eyes snapped open to glare at the intruder, while Rey smiled in welcome. Beside them, Dee-oh spun around to catch a better view of the intruder.

"S-stranger ahead," the droid declared. Rey wanted to sigh, having failed multiple attempts at fixing the droid's stuttering voice box.

"Aren't you supposed to be loading up boxes or something?" Finn groaned.

Ben scowled before glancing at the heavy package in his arms. Words weren't needed to convey his irritation as they were written in his expression. _What does it look like I'm doing?_

Now at Ben's feet, Dee-oh began to circle the man as he discarded the cargo in the loading bay before walking towards the pair.

"Enjoying hard labor?" Rey finally broke the silence as he neared.

"Better than rotting in a cell," Ben answered before turning his attention towards Finn who couldn't hide his distain for the former Supreme Leader even if he wanted to.

"I still can't believe it… It isn't right for you to roam freely," he grumbled.

"You have a strange understanding of the word free," Ben folded his arms across his chest. The cold lighting of the base bounced off the metal of his cuffs as if to highlight his point.

Finn ignored him, glaring back at Rey as if Ben didn't exist.

"Maybe we made a mistake in keeping his secret, if the public knew Kylo Ren was still alive…"

Rey silenced him with a glare.

"Finn, you promised."

"You're the one always telling me that Jedi should act if they feel danger is near," Finn challenged.

"Ben's not dangerous," Rey reminded. _Not anymore._

"Why do you defend him?!" Finn rose to his feet in an instant. Glaring down at her as if he were gazing at a puzzle. "All of you, even Rose… How have all of you forgotten what he's done?"

"We haven't…" Rey began but was cut off as the man turned to face Ben.

"Let me tell you something," Finn squared his shoulder. However, no amount of flexing could embolden her friend as he stood next to the tower that was Ben. With a silent smirk, Rey could only imagine how she appeared standing beside him. The thought would have been amusing if Finn didn't appear ready to throw a punch at any moment. "You might have everyone else fooled, but not me. The moment I figure out what you're playing at, I will make sure the world knows."

Ben merely blinked.

"Threats are a tool of the darkside. Perhaps you'd like to keep that in mind while you train to be a Jedi," he warned.

"What would _you_ know about being a Jedi?" Finn spat.

Ben remained emotionless as he stared at Finn. For a moment, Rey was thankful that he decided against flaunting his knowledge of the force that easily outranked her own studies. And then, he had to push.

"I know how to lift a stick."

Finn snapped. Had Rey not been watching the exchange so intently, she wouldn't have brought her arms up just in time to halt her friend's fist before it could collide with Ben's unmoving figure. To her amazement, she staggered as he fought her restraint.

"Finn," she warned with a grunt. "He's right. You need calm down."

"Let me go, Rey!" he grumbled against her invisible hold.

"If you can't forget the past, you'll never become a Jedi," Rey scolded; waiting another moment before slowly letting him slip from her grasp. Finn turned to glare, and she could see his pain at hearing her take Ben's side.

"If becoming a Jedi means forgiving _him_ , then these lessons are useless," Finn growled once more before stomping away. When the door slammed behind him, Rey sighed in dismay.

"Was that necessary?" she grumbled.

"He's unbalanced," Ben mused aloud as his eyes became glued to the door where Finn had vanished. "If small taunts can set him off…"

Ben's voice trailed off into nothing. She waited for him to recover from whatever revelation had him stuck in his own thoughts, but he never pried his gaze from Finn's shadow.

"He just needs a teacher," Rey assured. "A _real_ teacher."

Ben turned to give her a strange expression. His lips parted with the will to speak, but whatever he had intended to say vanished as his focus shifted.

"What's wrong with your lightsaber?"

Rey narrowed her gaze playfully.

"How long were you eavesdropping?"

"I didn't want to distract your friend from his lesson," he explained before returning to his original point. Beckoning with his fingers to bring it forth. "Let's see it."

Rey stared at him for a moment. Knowing that if the demand had come from anyone else, she would have reached for her staff. Instead, she smirked at his confidence that grew each day. Grateful to see him slowly growing more comfortable into the mold that was Ben Solo.

Turning away from him, she retrieved the box guarding her unfinished lightsaber.

"I can't get it to ignite," she explained while carrying the box to him. Together they sat on the cold ground as she opened the container. "And every time… Ah, Dee-oh!"

"Y-Yes, mom?" the little droid rolled to face its master.

"I told you not to mess with my things," she groaned while brushing a finger above the scrape caused by the curious machine.

"S-So sorry," Dee-oh bowed his coned head in shame and it was enough to chill her heart for raising her voice.

"It's alright," she softened her tone before grabbing a rag to buff out the scratch.

"You taught the droid to call you mom?" Ben tilted his head in question.

"Finn and Poe programmed him to say it," Rey shrugged. "They were trying to be funny."

"I could reprogram him for you," Ben offered.

"No," Rey answered a bit too quickly. Feeling her face redden, she hid her gaze by focusing on the saber. "I, I kind of like it."

She expected him to laugh or mock; or at the very least snort in derision. Instead, Ben nodded softly before holding out his hand in offering. Rey placed the saber in his open palm and he immediately began to examine the unique weapon. She was almost nervous to see him open the chamber but relaxed in an instant. Reminding herself that he knew far more than her on the subject.

"You've mixed the wires here, that's why it won't ignite. But this material holding the crystal is corroded. It's a good thing you mixed them. It would shatter in a matter of seconds. And that, is an unpleasant endeavor," he noted.

"You've shattered a lightsaber?" She asked before recalling their battle in the throne room so long ago. The tug-of-war over his grandfather's weapon had resulted in a grand explosion. Rey nearly shivered at the thought of holding a saber in hand during such an event.

"My crystal had cracked when I bled it," he explained. "It nearly tore my hand apart."

Rey flinched despite the clam demeanor she had learned to master when skirting around Ben's past deeds. The process of bleeding a lightsaber peaked her curiosity, but she wasn't certain it was right to indulge in such dark thinking.

"Here," he mumbled before digging through the contents of the box. When his fingers rose from the rummaged parts, he lifted a piece she had long since discarded. "Use this."

"That? It's not even the right shape," she argued as he placed the saber back into her own hands.

"So bend it into shape," he answered.

On instinct, Rey began pressing against the material between her palms. Pushing and pulling at multiple angles. After a minute of failing to alter the metal even the slightest, Rey realized that she had misunderstood. She could feel her face redden as she hid her gaze into the floor.

"You meant with the force," she realized aloud. Ben merely nodded without even the slightest hint of a glare and Rey couldn't help but grin. "You're a lot more patient then Luke was."

Ben exhaled with a stifled laugh as Rey fell silent again and closed her eyes to concentrate on the task at hand. Slowly beginning to dismantle the failed design. Though she couldn't see the parts twirling around in the air, she could feel the force moving all around her. When the saber was dismantled, she reached for the memories of Leia's teachings to build the weapon properly this time.

When the simple thought of her former master tugged at her heart, the force began to flee. Desperate to tame her emotions Rey released a deep breath. However, once her heart began to bleed with Leia's memory healing never seemed to come easy. A moment later the parts fell to the floor with a clang.

"What are you thinking about?" Ben asked.

Rey sighed, not wanting to answer.

"Your mother," she admitted quietly. "I miss her."

"Don't think about her death. Concentrate on her memory, on moments you enjoyed. Think of your friends. And your little droid son," he spoke softly.

Rey nearly snorted at his last comment. She steadied her breath; breathing in slowly and back out. After a moment of meditation, she could feel the parts began to rise once more.

Rey sifted through memories that had once made her smile. Thinking of Finn and Poe's humorous bickering as they played holochess on the Falcon. Of Rose's gleeful smile as she shared stories of her first moments with Finn. Of Chewie playfully shoving Lando as they reminisced of old times. But mostly she thought of Ben.

The force ebbed as she recalled that terrible year apart. Where for so long she suffered, rebelling against that strange ache in her chest that she hadn't understood. The stars had witnessed many tears on those nights when she dwelled on his rejection. She had thought to have freed him after the defeat of Snoke, having given him an avenue away from the dark; a path alongside her own. Instead, he chad lung to a darkness that she could never follow.

Rey recalled trying countless tactics to convince herself that the feeling would fade with time. Since anger had seemed to be the best way to cope, she had clung to it; embraced it even. How close it had put her in the darkside's reach. When Ben pushed her too far on the ruins of the death star, she had become lost to it. The anger had fueled her vicious strikes until it had encouraged her to plunge his own blade through his stomach.

"Focus," Ben whispered. Only then did Rey realize she was shaking. "Happy memories."

She took another breath and thought of where they were now. Though Ben was not free, he was far better off than where he had been months ago. Most of the resistance no longer gave the name Kylo Ren any thought, having eagerly believed his body to be rotting away in the caverns of Exegol. Just weeks ago, Ben had been released from his cell to complete brutish tasks so long as he continued to wear the cuffs that broke his connection to the force. No matter how much he grumbled about the work, Rey knew it was far preferred over being stuck in that tiny cell.

Rey thought of their moments together, of the way he seemed to smile more often. Of the feeling of his kiss when they finally managed to sneak a private moment. Hidden away in dark hallways where traffic was minimal and that one time she had ' _accidentally'_ brokethe lock to the maintenance closest after they entered to grab tools for a job. The act had nearly given them an hour before Rose managed to break them out. No matter how brief their moments could be, they were always perfect.

"Rey?"

"Hmm?"

"Open your eyes," Ben ordered gently.

Rey did as he asked to find the saber floating just beyond her grasp. Components that had been loose had locked into place and for the first time she could feel the call of her crystal; beckoning itself to her hand.

"Is it…" Rey started to ask if the build had been successful but could already feel that it was so.

"Go ahead," Ben encouraged.

"What if it explodes?" she asked nervously.

"I'll take you to the medbay," he answered far too calmly.

"I don't think they'll be able to help much if my whole arm is missing," she joked.

"Something tells me you'd be able to adapt easily," he shrugged.

"Should I be worried about your lack of concern over me losing a limb?" she challenged playfully.

Ben finally smirked. He reached forward and took her hand in his own before bringing it to his lips. A shiver raced through her spine as he placed a kiss at her knuckles.

"I would be in a state of misery if anything were to happen to your arm," he promised before releasing her hand. "But, seeing as I watched you assemble every part perfectly, I am confident in your chances of keeping it intact for another day."

Rey shook her head with a grin before taking the saber in her palm. She took a nervous breath as she pointed it in a safe direction and after a moment of coaxing, the blade ignited with a flash of yellow. For a moment, she stared in disbelief; awed by what she had made.

"Unique color," Ben mused allowed. "Guardians of the Jedi Temple used to wield similar blades."

Rey tested the weight of her new weapon with a few swipes in the air before deactivating it. The feeling of having something of her own was greater than she ever imagined. The handle was lighter than Luke's had been and though she had yet to master a perfect art to the design, there was room for further adjustments in the future.

"I'd like to make it double bladed one day," she stated. Thinking of how familiar it would feel.

Ben merely nodded, as if he could read her thoughts. With a dip of her heart she thought about the brief time when they had been able to do just that. When for that one perfect moment, they had been one.

No matter how desperately she fought the council to free Ben Solo, to truly free him, she was met with swift denial. She started to wonder if Ben would ever be allowed to roam without the cuffs and if they would ever experience the bliss of their dyad ever again. However, she supposed that she shouldn't be greedy. After all, his very presence in that moment outside of his tiny cell was victory in itself.

A whirl of movement broke her thoughts as Dee-oh took to racing laps around them both.

"He's energetic for such an old unit," Ben pondered aloud.

Rey couldn't help but smile.

"I gave him a new battery just yesterday. He had hardly been able to hold a charge," she explained while trying to follow the droid's path. "I had to redesign the compartment just to fit it, but now he's good as new."

Well, mostly new. Ben looked the droid over, taking in the scratches and dents from years of neglect.

"These units had a short lifespan, they stopped making them decades ago. It was deemed that they didn't have much value other than simple translations of common tongue. I'm surprised to see one fully functionial," he explained.

"He's valuable to me," Rey stated a bit too firmly. She had become tired of careless voices condemning her little droid for nothing of worth rather than spare parts.

"I wasn't belittling him," Ben assured.

As if only just realizing the conversation centered around him, Dee-oh paused in his solo race to focus on the pair.

"H-Hello."

"Might have a few screws loose though," Ben smirked at the late greeting. Then he began to reach for the droid. "Or a loose antenna…"

"N-no thank you," Dee-oh scurried backwards, leaving Ben staring after the droid with a surprising level of hurt. Rey smiled reassuringly and reached for the hand resting upon his knee.

"It's alright, Dee-oh. See, he's a friend," Rey spoke softly.

"F-friend," the droid's cone face rose and fell to take in Ben's form. As if memorizing the shape of his body. "H-hello friend."

Before Ben could react, the little machine resumed his pointless circles. Rey couldn't help but chuckle as she watched the droid test the range of his new components.

"He was treated poorly in the past, it takes him a bit of time to warm to newcomers," Rey explained.

Ben hummed in understanding before his gaze fell to the hand covering his own. She nearly pulled away on instinct, knowing that her careless touch threatened to reveal their secret. However, with only a droid for an audience she instead moved to tighten her hold.

For a moment, Rey remained motionless. Still unable to bear the direct sight of Ben's gaze. Her heart had already begun to race as it always seemed to when they managed to find themselves alone; drumming in anticipation of how quickly they would reach for one another. She had planned to do just that, but by the time she felt herself leaning forward Dee-oh whirled beside them.

"F-friend approaching," he exclaimed.

Rey pulled away in an instant just before Rose stepped into the room. She sighed in relief to find her friend's eyes stuck on the data pad in her hands, glancing to the pair only when she stood a few feet from them.

"Heads up Ben, your parole officer is looking for you," Rose smirked.

Ben looked ready to roll his eyes.

"Maz knows exactly where to find me," he answered evenly.

"It's your funeral," she shrugged with a smile before growing serious. "Have you seen Finn? He seems…"

"Stubborn? Grouchy? Immature?" Rey answered half-bitterly. The girl shifted uncomfortably.

"I'm worried about him," Rose admitted. "He's… different."

Rey opened her mouth to ensure her that Finn was fine, that there was nothing to worry about when it came to the formal Stormtrooper. But before she could speak the words, Ben was glaring at Rose.

"When did you start to notice the change?" he asked.

Rose stared at him, surprised that he was addressing her personally.

"He's been acting weird since the end of the war, but he didn't start acting like _this_ until a couple weeks ago," she answered.

Ben didn't speak anything further. His expression was calculating, causing Rey to worry about what she had simply cast aside as a childish grudge.

"Ben, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered quickly. Rey watched him turn to grab the cargo he had been tasked to retrieve in the first place and nodded to her as if he hadn't just lied so blatantly. "I should get these back to Maz."

Her own eyes narrowed in concern, but she quickly decided against confronting him in front of Rose. Rey stared after him as he darted from her gaze.

"He's lying isn't he? I should be worried," Rose spoke nervously.

"Ben's never lied to me, not even when… Well, you know." Rey swallowed when her throat began to swell. "Now I understand why. He's terrible at it."


	2. Chapter 2

Being under lock and key had very few benefits. For those first three months while Ben had been thrown into a cell his muscles had practically atrophied without room to stretch. Then there was a terrible itch underneath his cuffs where the skin had long since begun to chafe. As if the loss of his connection to the force wasn't enough punishment, the grunt work they had assigned to him was a clear jab at his pride. Ben could only imagine the thoughts of bystanders who knew his identity. Watching as the man who had once ruled the galaxy was reduced to petty labor. However, the bored tasks gave him a unique opportunity to gauge everything that happened in those halls. Every task, every routine, every bit of petty gossip could be easily memorized when his freedoms were so little. So, as he rounded the corner to the old training room, Ben knew exactly whose grunts emanated from the small space.

FN-2187. His presence was a constant reminder of the years Ben had wasted in the dark. Finn, as he was now called, was always there late at night. The moment Rey would set off to prepare for bed, the man would sneak away to perfect his skills. Only problem was, he was far from perfecting anything.

Rey, his beautiful Rey, who was more like his mother than she would ever know saw only the best in her friends. Even when Ben had been at his worst Rey had stubbornly clung to the hope that he might return. Though he didn't dare to speak it aloud, he knew that her fierce loyalty to serving the light was naïve. It made her blind. Blind to the dark that her friend was beginning to sink in.

Finn swung his practice saber at a dummy, using all his might to land his blows.

"You're relying too much on strength in your attacks. You'll be countered easily," Ben stated.

The veins along the back of Finn's neck stretched with his sudden stiffness and every muscle seemed to tense before he turned to meet his gaze.

"What the hell are you doing down here?" he tried to state evenly, though there was venom laced within each word. Ben wanted to shudder, only beginning to realize how ugly he must have looked to his own family; to Rey. Yet, they had forgiven him anyways.

"Clearly the First Order failed to train you in proper hand-to-hand combat," Ben scoffed before grasping the hilt of a spare training weapon. He tested its weight with a couple swipes through the air before turning to face his opponent. "The Resistance didn't do much better."

"I'm not afraid of you," he stated fervently with his knuckles clenched tightly around his saber. Ben nearly chuckled at the lie but decided against sparking a flame just yet.

"Why don't you tell her?" Ben asked, twirling the weapon around his hand. The return of a saber in his palm felt so natural and he breathed a sigh of relief that his skills had not faltered.

"Tell her what?"

Ben never could understand why people danced around their problems. The truth was so much quicker.

"You're teetering on the line between dark and light."

Finn flinched, eyes falling to the floor before recalling the danger of losing focus. The sight of his fear would have once sent a surge of delight to see another cower before his might. Now however, Ben wanted to shrink away into his cell to hide from his dark past.

"I don't know what you're talking about," the trooper shook his head.

Again. A lie.

"You pretend that you cannot use the force because you think she might see it," Ben pressed. "How close you are to embracing that darkness."

"I am not…"

"You're trying to suppress it, to hide it from her. It's a good tactic if you wish to lose everything," Ben interrupted before he could lie again. His time was limited, he imagined that Maz was already scouring the halls in search of him. And Finn was starting to waste his time. "I can help you."

"I do _not_ need a monster's help."

"A monster can teach many things," he declared before taking another step forward; stopping only a few feet away.

Finn grasped the blaster at his hip, preparing to wield it if the moment presented itself. Given the way his arm trembled in fear, Ben knew he was treading a dangerous line. However, he pushed against his own caution.

"You despise me. Why?"

"You know damn well why!" Finn snarled.

"Yes. But confronting it aloud tends to help," he offered.

"I told you, I do not want your help," he spoke dangerously low.

Ben merely smirked. Using his stave, he hooked it underneath the Stormtrooper's blaster and brought Finn's arm up until Ben was staring down the barrel of the weapon.

"You want me gone." Ben lowered the stave to rest his arms at his side, presenting his surrender. "Then pull the trigger."

It was a gamble, he realized, one that Rey would never forgive if the man followed through with his hollow threats. However, just as Ben had assumed, Finn shook his head in defiance.

"No, I'm not like you. I don't take lives," he stated while lowering the weapon back to his side. As if to demonstrate his resolve Finn shoved the blaster back in its holster.

_At least he wasn't willing to kill_ , Ben thought. _Yet._

"No?" Ben's brow rose with his question, earning another glare from the Stormtrooper. Good. Ben needed him angry. "It was reported that over three thousand Stormtroopers were lost during the battle of Crait."

"There wouldn't have been a battle that day if you hadn't…" he began.

Ben refused him the chance to elaborate. His sins were known around the galaxy, while Finn's were hidden in the seclusion of his mind. Festering in a pit of darkness.

"Three thousand men and woman who were just following orders."

" _Your_ orders," Finn spat.

"Am I to assume that you never pulled the trigger that day."

"I was only defending…"

"How many souls were on the pods that exploded after you failed to deactivate the tracking device?"

"Stop talking!" the man growled.

"You can try to deny it all you want. But you and I are more alike than you want to admit." Ben took another step, close enough to see the fury building beneath those eyes. "Rey cannot teach you. A monster is more equip to train another monster."

Finally, Finn snapped, roaring with his swing. Ben moved his own weapon to block the blow. The Stormtrooper was stronger than he had given credit for, but his inexperience made the attacks easy to parry just as he imagined. Their staves collided and Finn pushed clumsily against Ben's hold.

"You think you're good at hiding your anger, you're not," Ben taunted. "It has grown these past two weeks, ever since they let me out. Release it."

Finn pulled away with a grunt; trying and failing to push against Ben's strength.

"The council is stupid! You should have been thrown in a guillotine the moment we landed!"

"Public execution?" Ben's brow rose. "That's a First Order policy. Perhaps you belonged in the Stormtrooper program after all."

Another roar, another strike. Finn's movements only became more predictable with every swing as his rage began to build.

"I was ripped away from my family! I don't even know their names!" Finn shouted as he failed to land a single blow through a barrage of attacks. Ben waited, letting the man run himself into exhaustion before finally pushing back. The trooper stumbled backwards and after an embarrassing few steps fell to the ground.

"What is it you want? An apology?" Ben spat as he stood over him. Finn's eyes were dark as he glared up from the floor. "An apology will erase everything I've done?"

With a grunt, he rose to his feet and engaged once more. There was more power in the strikes, nearly enough to overwhelm his own strength. For a fraction of a second Ben feared that his tactic to push had been misguided but quickly pushed the thoughts away. Now was not the time for reflection.

"You don't deserve a second chance!" he ranted furiously. "You shouldn't be here! You should be rotting away in that cave so the Galaxy can live in peace!"

"But I'm not, because you carried me out," Ben growled. He dodged another swipe, hooking his saber around Finn's wrist and shoving against him. Finn toppled to the floor once more while his weapon fell out of reach with a clatter. Groaning in pain, he held his hand where the weapon had struck and glared with fire in his eyes back at Ben.

Nearly there, Ben thought. Just one final push.

"You've made yourself imbalanced. You cannot even master the simplest uses of the force that even younglings can manage. _You_ just keep failing!"

Finn's arm snapped up with tense fingers while Ben felt his throat constrict.

He stood in acceptance of his punishment, forcing his arms to remain at his sides; knowing how pointless it would be to reach for the coil around his neck when it was the force strangling him. Instead, he stood still, gasping only when his body demanded and stared at the Stormtrooper. His weapon fell to the floor when it became impossible to breath.

Ben waited for those dark eyes to soften in fright of what he was doing. Even when his knees gave out, he continued to wait. And wait.

When his vision blurred he began to worry that his gamble had backfired, that his push had sent Rey's friend beyond what he could handle, but then the shame finally found him and Finn finally released his hold.

Ben collapsed, gasping for a desperate breath of air.

"W-what did you do to me?" Finn stared at his open palm in terror. "What..?"

By the time Ben had finished coughing, he could see shame consuming the Stormtrooper. The man fell to his knees before Ben recovered enough to speak.

"What have I done?" Finn gasped in fright.

Through heavy breaths Ben forced himself to hitch a knee before making it to his feet.

"It was a gift," Ben finally stated. Finn looked as if he wanted to glare, but instead pleaded with his eyes; desperate to learn.

_Finally_ , Ben thought.

"What?"

"Now you understand the consequences," he groaned through heavy breaths; taking another moment to steady his breathing. "To give you a chance to test the dark out on me, instead of someone you care about."

"So that's it? I've fallen to the…" Finn stopped before shaking his head in dismay. "I really can't become a Jedi?"

"Fearing it will only make the dark more tempting," Ben merely shook his head. "Anger, hatred. They will drown you. You have to move on. You must forgive the people who wronged you. Including me."

His expression twisted into rage once again.

"I will never forgive…"

" _I_ don't need your forgiveness," he quickly interrupted, "I don't care if you like me, I care about what you do to Rey."

"I would never hurt her," Finn recoiled at the very thought.

"Like you would never use the force to hurt someone?" Ben challenged. "Next time, it might not be me you're strangling."

"You're wrong, I could never hurt someone I care about," he pushed again.

"You think so?" Ben felt his own anger brewing. "The first time you lose control, you will lose yourself. That's how the dark wins, it makes you feel as if there is only one path forward. It makes it easy to do terrible things. Things that would disgust anyone in the light.

You think you're above it all, but you're not. You are unstable. Would you be able to live with yourself if you lash out when Rey criticizes your form? Or your pilot friend when he argues with you? How about your girlfriend?"

The man looked ready to start another round as his muscles tensed once more. Ben softened his tone to avoid as much.

"You will never heal unless you figure out how to forgive. If not, you'll find yourself right back here. Again and again. Until the dark convinces you it's too late."

Finn continued to scowl in defiance of his assumptions. A moment later he sighed deeply, eyes closing as his chin fell to his chest.

"The First Order took everything from me. I blame _you_ for that."

"I had nothing to do with the Stormtrooper program," Ben argued lightly. Finn opened his eyes to glare.

"I watched you snap my friends neck two months before I defected. With a flick of your wrist he was gone. I stepped over more bodies than I could count. Bodies of people whose only crime was to get in your way at the wrong time. You expect me to forgive that?"

Ben watched him carefully.

No, he wanted to say, no one sane would expect such a thing. But, it was what must be done. If not, the dark would prey on him.

"SE-1484," Ben whispered. Finn's attention snapped back to him. "He was your friend. The one that I killed."

His glare softened for a fraction of a second before returning. Finn nodded.

Ben sealed his lips. When he felt a rush of blood warming his face, his eyes shut tightly

"I see every face when I close my eyes, I hear every scream. Every night I am haunted by those whose lives were taken by my own hands." Ben sighed deeply.

"If you're trying to win my sympathy, you're barking up the wrong tree," he pointed angrily. However, with less venom that before.

"I don't want your pity," Ben sneered before recalling himself. "You can prevent yourself from experiencing that pain. But it is a choice that you must make to accept my help."

Finn started to shake his stubborn head.

"I know I don't deserve it, second chance. I know you don't believe that I've changed. But, this isn't about me," Ben interrupted. "Let me help you."

"I can't," he answered. His voice was hesitant, uncertain. Ben watched him struggle with his own thoughts. Knowing exactly what war was brewing beneath those troubled eyes.

"Fine," Ben answered simply. Finn looked up, both in surprise and terror, watching as Ben took a step backwards. "I thought it was too late. Snoke convinced me that my family despised me. They are lies. If nothing else, allow my presence to be a reminder to you that no matter how deep you get, your friends will be here waiting. At least make sure to remember that."

Ben turned towards the exit, walking until he stood only feet away from the door.

"Wait," Finn barely broke above a whisper. Ben turned halfway to meet him, watching his scowl as the man fought against his hatred. "I'll do it. I'll train with you."

Ben wanted to sigh in relief, waiting a moment to nod and then spoke softly.

"For whatever it's worth, I am sorry."

The trooper began battling with himself once more, switching more than once from an expression of offense to acceptance and back again. It felt like many moments later when he finally nodded.

"Get some rest, training starts tomorrow," Ben ordered gently.

"I'm not calling you master," Finn shouted before he could reach the door.

"Call me anything you'd like," Ben smirked. "Traitor."

When Finn scoffed in amusement, Ben finally took his leave. Stepping out into the dark hallways that signaled the late hour.

By the time he reached his room, he half expected Maz to waiting; ready to berate his disobedience. However, when he opened the door he nearly crashed right into Rey. She yelped in surprise before calming at the sight of him. Sighing in relief.

"Maz said you disappeared, she asked me to help find… What happened to you?" she asked with a wide gaze.

Ben glanced down at his body to see if their sparring had broken any skin. When he found nothing, he narrowed his gaze in question.

"What do you mean?"

"Your neck is bruised!" she exclaimed in a hushed tone.

Ben reached for his throat absentmindedly, cursing his carelessness.

"Oh."

"Who did this to you?"

"No one."

Rey stiffened.

"You're lying," she accused with a glare. "That's twice in one day. What's going on?"

Ben stared at her, impressed by her observations. Also knowing that she might not be so forgiving if he were to do it again.

"I was sparring with your traitor friend," he answered lightly.

"My traitor fr… Finn? Why were you..?" she tripped over various questions before furrowing her brow. "Ben!"

"Relax, we worked it out," he promised.

"You look like you've been strangled," she mumbled while crossing her arms.

"Not too far from the truth," Ben shrugged while stepping around her to close the door behind them. When Rey's expression twisted in terror, he began to explain. Her body tensed, then relaxed as she took in his story. By the time he was finished she was watching him with worry.

"Will he be okay?" she asked; pleading for a simple yes.

"It's up to him," Ben answered honestly. "But, he seems to want to try."

Rey nodded slowly. A moment later, her eyes scanned below his chin before bringing a cautious hand to his neck.

"You're sure you're alright?" she whispered. Her fingers trailed along the edge of his throat as he nodded.

The remnants of Kylo Ren instinctively commanded him to shy away from such tenderness. Kindness had always been a trap, an illusion that would be hiding a world of pain. Then again, even when his soul had been stained with so much darkness, Rey always seemed to be an exception. So, instead of chastising her hysterics Ben reached for the hand at his neck and took it firmly within his own, pushing against the false instincts to grasp it as if it were a lifeline.

It hadn't been easy to adjust to such a change, to have someone care when he so much as bruised his skin. It was strange, especially given the number of scars they had given one another in the past. However, now that he experienced her gentle caress, he knew that it would be impossible to leave her tender care.

"I could heal it," she suggested.

"Rey, I'm fine," he promised with a smirk. "I've had far worse."

Rey flinched. Had their minds still been linked he knew exactly what image would have raced between them. Her eyes lowered until they fell to his abdomen where a blade of red had nearly ended it all.

_Fool_ , Ben scolded himself.

Moving quickly to pull her attention from the sour moment, Ben rested his forehead against hers. Already his heart was pulsing from their shared breath, urging him to close what little space remained between them. But, he never could move first. Even as the weeks passed he failed to shake that terrible fear that she would come to her senses; to pull away in repulsion. And yet, she never did. Even then, near the gates to his cell that were a stark reminder of his stained soul, she closed that space for them.

Ben's lack of knowledge on intimacy never ceased to wound his confidence as he struggled to know where to place his hands. However, as usual they came to rest at her back in a plea to beckon her closer. Rey's kiss was always chaste. He wasn't even sure if she understood why he had to pull away when the moment lingered too long. However, he was grateful for it. Knowing how easy it could have been for the cruel desert to have destroyed her innocence.

Rey's hands moved to rest along his neck. When a soothing flood of warmth began pouring from her fingers and as the pain of Finn's damage begin to ebb, he brought his own hands to stop her.

"Sneaky little…" he mumbled against her lips.

"It's just a bruise, let me finish healing it," she argued.

"We agreed not to waste your life force on petty injuries," he reminded.

"Do you really want people to wonder if you've gotten into a fight?" her brow rose in challenge. Ben opened his mouth to counter but failed to find the words. Remembering that he had only just been released on good behavior. With a victorious smile, Rey put her hand back to his neck. "Hold still."

"Sneaky and bossy," he mumbled.

"Shh," she hushed. Focusing on the task at hand. Ben sighed at the moment of relief, not realizing how much damage her friend had caused. With a quiet gulp, he wondered how close his neck had been to snapping. "There."

"Thank you," he whispered.

She answered with a short kiss.

"I should go report to Maz before she sets her blaster to stun."

"You should probably lock me in my cell first," he reminded. Ignoring her sneer, he stepped around to open the door to his 'room'.

"You know I won't do that. You'll have to wait for Maz," she argued.

"Rey…"

"I _won't_ ," she stated more sternly.

"You'd be doing me a favor," he offered softly. "If you leave me to Maz I'll have to listen to her lecture for an hour."

"You'll have to suffer her lecture," she smiled weakly. "I am not setting that lock."

Ben merely sighed, waiting for her to change her mind. However, as per usual, Rey never faltered. Instead she stepped forward, reaching up for one last kiss.

"Goodnight Ben."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the story, I have another story in the series coming out next week so hit that subscribe button if you’d like to be notified! You can follow me over on tumblr (Username Neeklos) for previews and updates. The next story will be far more Reylo centric with much angst and feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if the quality seems a bit lower than usual, I'm trying to get these written a bit more quickly since I'm not sure how much longer my fandom flame will burn and I have so much content I'd like to write in this series!


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